Welcome to Britain, brave traveler. You've survived customs, mastered the accent (sort of), and learned that "cheers" can mean "thank you," "goodbye," or "please stop talking." Now comes your greatest quest: riding the British rail system without ending up in Scotland by accident. This field manual will teach you how to navigate the train lines of East Anglia and London, use apps that actually work, find landmarks worth missing a train for, and get to major airports without crying. Pack snacks, patience, and your best "confused American abroad" face. Let's roll